working on sunday isn’t much of the burden to me. i’m glad to get out of the house. saturday, that’s another story. it feels that my energy is all drained out all week. come saturday, i just die. can’t even lift a finger.
teaching extra class exposes me to a melodrama in the world. first is a student who is so out of tune of the real world, aka socially ignorant. then today, i get to meet the mother wears prada.
rich people are annoying in that they presume people are at their disposal. that i teach her son doesn’t make me her staff. i’m a teacher, a respectable and honorable profession. keep that in mind, bitch.
when cash is spreading thin, a cup of starbucks becomes a luxury.
i haven’t set foot in starbucks for weeks now. i miss its coffee. other coffee shops like black canyon or coffee world are fine but they are no comparable.
when walking past starbucs, i can just look on and hope that someday, i’ll be back.
seeing others enjoying it gives me a knot of jealousy.
i shall return some day, eat and drink to my heart (stomach) desire.
image from flickr
that’s how i take my coffee.
i have been upset and depressed for a few days over small stuff. it’s small stuff but i can’t control myself not to get upset. i try to let go, not make a big deal out of it, let karma take its course.. etc. i feel i’m getting better, but with a little help of an antidepressant pill.
what happens is the tip of the iceberg. i am unable to find joy in anything i do. i like my work but hate people i work with. hate is probably a strong word. i simply despise them. elements from my work give me stress. i can’t sleep, hence the pill. it makes me feel woozy and not so depressed. good.
i don’t know what job will make me happy. from many friends i talk to, they all hate,or at least dislike, their jobs. i tried high-paying job. it was no good, emotionally. i have low-paying job. people i work with are killing me. i’m in the dark as to how to make myself happy. until i achieve that, happiness is merely a far-fetched concept.
that’s the end of my self-psychoanalysis.
antidepressant makes me sleepy. can’t wait to wake up to a soy chai tea latte tomorrow morning.
the city has started to decorate with christmas trees and all beautiful lighting. the place becomes paradise of photographers. even i’m not into taking photographs, driving home from work, surrounded by nice lighting along the avenue, does give me joy and get me in merry mood.
speaking of driving, there’s one more thing to be merry about. the gas price dropped! yes! just a few days ago, i stopped by a gas station to have the gas filled. turned out that i paid 30% less than i used to!! what a surprise! the oil price fluctuates so often i didn’t pay attention and just parked my car at my parents’. good day to drop by a gas station now!
now i have money leftover from gas. i can afford a starbucks or two!