that right after i raved about something, that something usually turns bad against me, real bad and real quick.
the situation at my favorite workplace just flipped 180 and now it feels like walking on broken glasses with bare feet to teach there.
the students there stabbed me in the back, ranting to other professors that they didn’t understand the lesson because of my teaching. classic huh!
i don’t have a problem with criticism. i have a problem with gossips. instead of talking to my face, they said bad things about me behind my back. how could i not be angry.
i accept the responsibility on my part. my teaching technique is far from perfect. it’s my job to make learning fun and lesson easy to follow. there is, and always will be, something that is clear to some people and unclear to others, nonetheless. isn’t it their responsibility to ask the questions when they do not understand? how dare they entirely throw this burden onto me, and not share it with themselves! from what i see, they are too lazy to think, to bother, or even to care about the lesson. they simply sit there like morons and try their best to look bored. they are good at making zero effort to learn.
now my spirit is so low that i don’t want to prepare the materials, i don’t want to teach. i really hate the situation i’m in, and i hate those who backstab me. i also feel so shameful that other professors are aware about this situation. they must think i’m a bad teacher. i’m also doubtful whether i will still get this gig next semester.
and most of all, i hate those students who make my life miserable, those who severely tainted my pink world, those who took my happy place away from my hand. i wish they all fail the class and be expelled from the university.
i will adjust my teaching. that’s the only thing i can do. i can never, however, forget how those students from hell made my feel. they make my life hell and i will return the favor.