i feel that my current 2 jobs are similar to my makeup choice. one is like makeup base, while the other is foundation. one makes the other one look good. one can be use alone but won’t look equally as nice as when together.
i believe that by working 2 jobs, thus gaining more experience, helps me do my job better. and i’m right. i know how to explain the lessons better now that i can how to anticipate the questions, or at what points students may have troubles with certain materials. it’s exhausting but i feel good when i can do my job well.
what i didn’t expect is the feelings which are getting worse with the 1st job. i am not entirely happy with the way they treat me: like a 2nd class citizen. i never feel like i’m one of them, probably because i don’t have ph.d. in linguistics. and something else. however, i get by, trying to ward off unpleasant attitudes that direct towards part-time teachers, and focusing on the pleasure of teaching at one of the most prestigious academy in the country. oh crap! that amounts to nothing when people treat you poorly. i try to pay no attention to the negatives and move on.
now that i work at a 2nd job, comparison is unavoidable for it’s obvious. there are many tiny details which build up my resentment. i don’t even have a desk at the 1st job while i have my own working space, desk, stationary, wifi and high speed internet connection to use as i please. i have none of that at the 1st job. the part-time staff room there is horrible; no air conditioner and swamped by mosquitoes. i didn’t know potential malaria is a bonus. people at 2nd job are tremendously nicer; staff are helpful, security guard is polite, full time teachers always say hi, help out and give advices. they never give me an air of superior as in ‘i’m the full time teacher and you’re not’ vibe. they are friendly and make me feel at home. how wonderful is that! i didn’t graduate here but i feel like i belong, whereas people at 1st job make me feel out of place almost all the time despite the fact that i graduated from the same institute as them.
it doesn’t mean that i want to leave my 1st job. i have good memories there. i feel like home the moment i drive through the gate. working both places improves my skills. work wise, these 2 jobs complement each other. it’s the same way that makeup base complements foundation. your skin is supposed to look flawless.
i don’t want to pick one over another. i don’t particularly like to apply foundation but my blemished face needs it. the makeup base helps the foundation work better but using it alone isn’t enough. i have to keep them both and work on improving my skin conditions.