hatred in heart

how does one have so much hatred in one’s heart?

how do i have so much hatred in my heart?

i am filled with hate, rage, and anger, all of them towards my parents. these 2 people are the example of those who should not have children.

i do recall some moments i loved them. most of the time, though, all i have had is resentment and anger.

my heart is full of hate. i hate my parents. i am mad at them. i wish i were an orphan.

my mother is spineless, stupid bitch who deliberately says all hurtful things to enjoy herself. she is jealous of me, that much is obvious. and that makes her very pathetic. i have a stupid and pathetic person as a mother. i don’t understand why she gets to be that stupid. often times, things that come out of her mouth make me wonder how her brain can be that dead. she is college graduate and that just proves how much of a failure our education is.

my father is one son of a bitch. being a breadwinner gives him the idea that everything must be his way. he forgets that we are people too, and living under the same roof is bound to have conflict. he never tolerates anything. he hit me, shouts at me, and psychologically abuses me. it has been very difficult for me to build self-confidence in the environment like this.

having abusive and bitchy parents is no excuse to live a bitter life. i try to gain myself more self-esteem but it’s really hard to do. when you are talked down to and constantly injected with hurtful words, how do you build a good character from that? words aren’t only words. they hurt tremendously.


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