confession of a tutor

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my energy simply drained from my life. at least for today. starting from today. patience is virtue which i have none left. i get annoyed and judgmental very easily. too easily. it’s bad quality for a tutor. my students lack enthusiasm towards the learning and it upsets and disappoints me greatly. 

no one is perfect. none of my classes are perfect. one class is responsive and active but also enjoys talking among themselves much of the time. another class is punctual but sedate. no story so far has got them on their feet and feel the urge to participate. 

i’m alienated. i get angry and mean towards them. the tutor has become the witch. 

i could have been nicer to respond when students presented me the external reading. what hot-wired me is that they haven’t even read the book of their choice. how do they pick a book for the term paper when they haven’t read it yet. what if it’s too difficult, what if they don’t find it enjoyable but have to be stuck with it till the rest of the semester? is it too complicated for them to figure it out that they have to read it before making a decision? 

i have bad attitude. i think they do that because they are too lazy to read, to count words if it is long enough, to do all the due diligence. or as simply put, too lazy to study.

it’s not healthy, this attitude of mine. i can’t be a better tutor without patience, kindness, and forgiveness. 

i need to muster my forces and fight evils in my mind. wish for a better day tomorrow. 

image by Antti Lehtinen

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