as the world turns


my life spins. 

earlier today i went to orientation for new staff at new office. i got a temp job as a tutor, quite a flip from my old job. it’s the only job offer i have so far so i take it. 

i can sense a lot of adjustment required from me. starting from dress code, being a tutor means you dress very traditionally. wearing colored tights is considered inappropriate, so is wearing pants and above-the-knee skirt. the only type of shoes acceptable is pumps. no open-toed or sandals. 

i never teach before. i wonder how i will handle the class. i’m fairly confident that i’m knowledgeable enough to transfer what i know. it’s the how that gets me worried. when you work in a company, we do our part. when someone drops the ball, it’s obvious. but tutoring is different. when students don’t understand the lesson, i can’t point at them and blame them stupid. it’s my responsibility that they understand the topic. 

i can also feel the vibe from full-time teachers. part-time tutors must be deemed a second class citizen to them but i try not to be bothered by that. i’m thankful that i get a job so i can afford to pay bills. without any income, i can’t see how i continue. 

my mom gave me some thoughtless advice and i was upset with her for saying such thing. now i’m upset with myself for being upset with her. 

it’s getting more difficult right now to hope that my day, or what’s left of it, will get better.

image from here

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